That's right...
That night, Madd helped his Grandaddy and Uncle Buck hook up the surround sound in the den that night. Soo cute. He loves to help!
He was talking big time this morning. I'm guessing it was something about the school bus bc I asked him if he was ready for the bus while I was getting his hoodie and shoes on and he just started going on and on. I pray he's still lovin school this much 10 years from now.
Now I want to vent. I have noticed lately that some of my habits have changed. For once in my life they are all for the better. That doesn't mean I am happy with them. I'm not normally fond of change. One thing I don't like is that I'm not interested in dating...kind of. Ok, wtf? I'm 26 and I don't think I should be feeling that way. I used to be all about having a boyfriend. Not so much anymore. Maybe it's bc I'm too busy nowadays or maybe bc I've moved my focus in life from drooling over hot guys to making something for Maddox and I. There's an exception. His name is Paul. It's been a long time since someone has made me as happy as he does. I always get that warm fuzzy feeling when I'm with him and just thinking about him can put a smile on my face. We have dated on and off for the past couple years and everytime I've mentioned a relationship, he disapears for a few months. He finally told me he just isn't ready for a relationship right now. Hmm.. I've heard this one before. I have a feeling..er wait..he told me he's not ready for a kid. This is what frustrates me. I should be pissed off at that and not talk to him anymore as that's what I would have done with any other guy. But I can't. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. He keeps calling and asking if I want to hang out and I keep making up excuses so as to not hang out. I don't want to do that bc I so badly want to see him. It hurts a little when I am with him so I think for now we'll just leave it at that. I keep hoping he'll change his mind. Am I stupid for waiting? There is honestly no other guy I would want to be with.
Ahh.. that feels better
I should find some work to do. blah...
p.s. check out this blog www.jennsylvania.com She is so funny. I've read one of her books and plan to read the rest this winter sometime. I kinda wanna be a writter like her.
1 comment:
Oh, my friend! I soooo can relate to this... I was 28, alone with a child who was quite difficult at school. I started dating, but it was quite a mess; didn't find anyone I was interested in. Then I finally met Brian through the internet, and my life has been so much happier ever since. But it wasn't easy. one day, Brian invited and then UNINVITED us (me and Cesar) to a party. The way he put it was, I know Cesar is a little difficult at times, and I don't want you to have to "deal" with that in a new setting (we were going to meet one of his friends' and his family for the first time at a babys' party. Cesar was 5 at the time). He told me this over the phone, as he let me know he wasn't going to come pick us up, but he'd come later to take us for dinner. I said nothing. When he showed up at home, I didn't even want to open the door. I told him there was absolutely NOTHING we had to talk about; he had been more than clear. He kept asking me to forgive him, but I didn't think he understood the importance of my child in my life. Thankfully, I was wrong. Brian did understand, and he decided to go for it.
Today is 9 years later, we are very happy together, and Cesar and Brian are as close as father and son (Brian never says "my step-son" when he introduces him to his friends, a lot of people thinks he is his natural son), and I am happy that I definitely made my point when I had to...
All the best for you and Maddox... maybe there's another guy waiting around the corner! Keep your faith well anchored, and your prayers in the sweet Lord... It will happen!
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